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BACK ON THE ROAD AGA N

We do more roadtesting than anyone else — but readily admit that a trip around the Scottish route isn't the same as a week on the

job. So just for a change, CM sent

Oliver Dixon out to make his living in a top-of-the-range Stralis.

When CM conducts a roadtest, the CV is invariably driven over a fixed route at maximum weight — and everything, as far as possible, is standardised to within an inch of its life. This allows us to publish with a fair degree of confidence an accurate comparison between the marques in terms of performance, driveability and the big one: fuel consumption. Hence brand X might return 8.8mpg against brand Y's 8.7. Cue queues outside Brand X forecourts, and watch those lead times grow.

But transport isn't and never can be totally standardised. It's a random business in that it's based (In the notion of derived demand.Any CV, whether capable of 8.1 or 81mpg, is only earning when it's loaded and moving.Those loads vary. So do routes. So do weather conditions, traffic conditions—even the driver's mood will have an effect on the productivity of the truck.

The whole story only emerges when a CV is earning its keep in the real world —that 8mpg means nothing if the vehicle spends most of its time over a pit, and it doesn't matter how comfy the seat is if you're out topping up the tank every 10 minutes.

Which is why we've descended from the CM ivory tower to borrow a truck, operate it for a week and try to make a living. Because, unless you're a well-heeled eccentric, the most important thing about any truck is the effect it has on your bank balance.

The truck

The Iveco Stralis has been around for a while now, but it still sets the pace in a couple of ways. No c,ther OEM, for example, has standardised an ainomated manual transmission (AMT) gearbox set-up.

Gone are the days when the Italian manufacturer offered different models to different sectors, Once upon a time it was Eur0Tech for the fleets and EuroStar for the aristiocracy, but the Stralis ushered in a more ega4tarian approach:Active'fime is the sleeper for the workers; Active Space is its aspirational full-width stablemate; and Active Day is for drivers who sleep at home.

But our home for this week, the ExecutWO Space, is very much the top of the range. High roof, big seats and all the toys, it's a full-on tl a gShip. Leaving CM's ivory tower doecn't havc to mean roughing it.

Ws a 540 heart that beats 'neath the virtually flat iloor of the Stralis ES. The biggest incarnation of Iveco's Cursor 13 engine, this six-pot behemoth puts down 2,350Nm torque at 1,150-1,615rpm, and produces its maximum 540hp at 1,615-1,900rpm.To this is attached a Ehrolionic (née ZF) AS253012-speed 3.70:1 transmission, which in turn directs the oomph through to a Mentor MS13-175 hypoid back end.

That's what makes it go;what makes it stop are 436mm ventilated discs with EBS, ABS anlASR as standard. Steel parabolic front end springs and ECAS air bags at the back keep the plot level, with front and rear anti-roll bars and shocks doing their bit to ensure a stately passage.

An aluminium fuel tank capable of ingesting 450 litres of haulier's ruin, six shiny Alcoa wheels and a heated screen maintain the topof-the-range image; inside, it's a case of hedonism writ large. Scats are cosily covered in leather and'alcantara' (which is, as if you didn't know.-a unique polyester ultramicrofibre,nonwoven fabric combining aesthetic appeal with exceptional comfort, warmth, durability and easy maintenance).They're also adjustable every which way and then some heated to boot.

There's more leather (but, alas, no alcantara) trimming the steering wheel:a brace of bunks, fridge-freezer. climate control, radio-CD,foldout table make that two fold-out tables roller blinds, a plethora of 12V sockets and more lights than Oxford Street at Yuletide.

Put simply, there isn't a kettle or a microwave but there's just about everything else, with the whole lot weighing in at 8.02 tonnes.

And the price? For this week, masquerading is an owner-driver. I can spend my waking hours musing over what it feels like to be on :he hook to the tune of just over .E85,0(X) at list.

rhe work

'..Lven in the world of virtual numbers,.£85k is a -eckonable sum,so I need to be kept busy. iappily, Rutland-based CS Ellis (Group) is vorking flat out, and it's more than happy to lave the ES on its ticket for a week. By the vay, to avoid pinching work from CM readers, 'm at the back of the queue at the transport Afice and didn't cause anyone to stand idle. Early morning Monday sees the first card of he week slide into the header rail and me rotting off solo in pursuit of lucre.! take the ES to Corby,Northants where a curtainsider oaded with underlay awaits, destination 2hingford to the north-east of London. vionday morning...! think there'll be some l4/M11 action here.

I don't know the exact weight of my load, tut if I've got more than nine tonnes on my lack it'll be a surprise. Which, with 540hp loing its thing along relatively flat roads, leans I've got about 11 gears too many. But it also means! can join time in waiting Dr no man,park myself in the middle lane and eta move on. 111-mannered.maybe, but if ou've got it, flaunt it and quicker journey mes are a perk of the 500-F Club. It's an odd lorld,1 agree, in which anyone is in a hurry to get to Chingford,but,nevertheless.we arrive somewhat ahead of schedule.

There's something about the carpet trade. One arrives with a load of underlay. Being of gentle upbringing,this is a substance I've always assumed to be an essential part of the floor-covering oeuvre, and therefore likely to engender a welcome among the carpet cognoscenti. Not least as I was the proud possessor of a delivery note made out to the correct address, which betrayed no little evidence of previous underlay action, as well as an array of ToyoLa Hiace vans in varying states of decrepitudea sure pointer to the presence of carpet fitters.

So much for assumptions.

"Underlay!" utters an underling, in atone indicative of hl a nk amazement.

"Yes," I say."1 nderlay. A sufficiency of the same approaching a magnitude that might with some accuracy be described as elegant. Yes, underlay indeed. Were we to bring about a temporary state of matrimony between the forklift vehicle upon which you are seated and the stillages containing the aforementioned floor covering on my trailer, we could all be home in time for Christmas.

"You'll have to speak to John."

Oh good. Time, money. 85 grand, and, better and better, another truck, hearing on its back a deep-sea container hoving into view.

"Are you John?"

Silly question really. Carpet wholesaler in Chingford. Of course he's called John. Not the right John,natchr but another one off the list.Another approach seems appropriate: find random life form, engage in conversation. "John, I've got your underlay."

"Where the **** have you been?" (Red mist beginning to rise.) "All right, back it in there. But we've got to tip that one first."

'That one',of course. being the deep-sea box that's now spoiling both the view and my balance sheet.

Anyway, long story short, tipped -albeit at the speed of smell:Then to Hatfield, trailer change at Ocado, drop empty packaging in Corby, load for Brackmills and Birmingham, night out in Northampton. Day one has ended.

And so to bed. Living in the ES is good living. It's a sort of cross between a palace and a Rubik's Cube:The bottom bunk becomes a dinette-type affair (very handy for laptops and coffee pots), the gear lever twists out of the way to allow unimpeded access right the way through the cab and, blessed as lam with any number of mobile communications devices. there are enough 12V sockets to go round and them some.

The top bunk -my preferencefolds down easily, and boasts a remote-control panel for the radio, heater, curtains, roof hatch, lights and windows. Useful, it must be said, when parked up close to a field boasting travelling folk with diesel needs. Bless them all their screwdrivers.

Tuesday morning sees me in Marie Celes sorry, John Lewis on Brackm ills and an appointment with the backwards switch on the EuroTronic box.

I'm lazy I enjoy having someone else do things for me. I'm also 11 years past driving for a living, so welcome just about any opportunity for automation. AMT gearboxes are a splendid thing. Most of the time. But when the time comes to manoeuvre, you don't half miss the clutch pedal.

Sure. Iveco gives you a low reverse ratio as well as a nippier one, but getting on a baywith a light load, up a slight slope formed out of damp concrete does become a bit of a random exercise. EuroTronic seems to be crying out fora true creep mode here. I'm sure that, given time, my right foot would get used to feathering the throttle just enough to work with greater elegance than my slightly awkward onoff effort. Courtesy of a good fellow from EVTS in a Daf 85! manage to position myself with a minimum of collateral damage and, with a work rate reminiscent of Chingford, have more than plenty of time to work out the next port of call —Stirchley Which, via Watford Gap and £250 worth of juice, is soon hoving into new. Stirchley isn't a particularly easy place to get to,and the palais d'industrie therein is tighter than a media accountant. Being able to steer and look does makes getting to places somewhat easier, and any misgivings I had about the lack of clutch pedal are all ayed.Tip, back to yard. pick up new trailer, head to Sevenoaks.

Overnight at Clacket Lane, and a reminder of just how long I've been away from all this. In my day you could get fleeced at an MSA for food and parking. But after I pull into CL and pony up for the parking,! find that the food bit is closed. Oh Rood. I'm happy that it's possible to buy a picnic set. It looks very nice. I could — if I so chose — have my fortune told by a thing on the wall. Splendid. I could content myself with a video game. Cup runneth over.

But of nourishment? Rien, mon brave. Save for a sandwich (and. in fairness,a clean shower room). Something my new friend at Northampton services has much to learn about, but as this may yet become sub judice,let's move onwards with some speed to a quick tip at the West Kent Cold Store the following morning, followed by more packaging out of Hatfield and a load of generators for Hull.

I like having 540 horses at my command. It means I get to Hull with no messing. What is beginning to irritate, though — despite a locker for just about everything else —is the Stralis's lack of a home for paperwork.

Memo to Iveco: stick a net pocket somewhere. I'm drowning here, and no POD equals no LSD come the weekend.That came out all wrong — I'm talking payment, not mindexpanding substances.And besides,! have the Stralis's command panel to do the van Gogh on my ganglions.

We have the lightshow, we have Leftfield on the CD, all we need is Mr Lee & the Chi Town Posse giving it large and keeping it real—and before you know it, letters will be written to the Daily Mail. Oh yes, I need a whistle too.

What? What the ...? Allow me to explain. New truck/older trailer isn't necessarily a marriage made in heaven. Steaming up the Al at a steady 50mph,on comes the EBS light. Amber — nothing to worry about.Then I get a red one.The trailer brakes have left the building. Cue doom, desolation and despair. Grab coffee cup to prevent unseemly egress through f*** worth of optional heated windscreen and await the rapture.

Which arrives in the form of the ASR light moving left to right across my horizon.WTF?

The nanny state, that's what. Stick a similarly equipped trailer on the fifth wheel of the Stralis, and a red light would be very awkward. With an older trailer, it seems to be indicative merely of the dashboard wanting to join in.

Too many people order me around as it is, and I'm hanged if I'm going to take orders from an LED. I shall instead proceed in a measured fashion to the splendidly goodvalue secure lorry park in Hull— just off the Hessle Road. Sleep, tip early AM and proceed for a backload in Immingham.

The man at the Humber Bridge tollbooth hands me a visitor's guide. Given that I've just shelled out £16.70, a stock certificate would probably be more appropriate. But time, money, diesel— I've just poured another £250 into the tank —mean it's a good deal. Not long afterwards I'm 26 tonnes heavier and the Stralis is showing its mettle.

Here's the deal: 540hp is well over the odds for nine tonnes of underlay But 26 tonnes of fertiliser —let's say that normal progress can be maintained.And if I'm getting the same rate for nine tonnes as lam for 26, then anything allowing me to utilise the UK speed limit to the full has to be a good thing. In other words, flying up hills is better than panting up them.

Tip fertiliser, do a couple of locals, and by Friday I'm back at Brackmills again.

Drop trailer off at supplier, head home — job done.

The numbers

Let's he holiest here. I said a week at work. Call it instead Monday late morning to Friday morning. Realistically four days, during which I covered 1,600km. Not a huge amount, for sure, but keep in mind the notion of transport as a derived demand. You go where you're told, and if you're told to go 1,600km, then that's what you do.No more, no less.

Bear in mind, too, the other random factor attached to the job. We could call it the Chingford effect -or equally, the John Lewis syndrome. This states that getting there is only half the gig. Getting there and waiting is an entirely likely seenario.The value lies in the POD, so waiting time is a cost borne by the front end: the truck and its owner. In the case of John Lewis, there's a fair bit of waiting at the back end too. If you find my de-ioniser this side of Armageddon, boys. you know where to send it.

We also need to consider some other variables. I'm not fresh off the boat; I'm not paying list price for a commercial vehicle. With a winning smile, let's talk about paying 170K for the ES. And let's not forget that, to have got this far up the greasy pole. I'm liable to be chopping something back at the salesman as well.

I'm reckoning lobe on the hook to the tune of about £55,()(X) by the time all is said and done.

So that's the variable intangibles taken care of. Next up. a quick visit to the MT cost tables; you can find them yourself by browsing to www.motortransport.co.uk For a 44-tonne 6x2 unit, my annual running costs work out thus: Annual variable costs Fuel: £47,935 Oil: £726 rlyres:11,920 Maintenance:£8,888 Total variable costs: £59,469 Annual fixed costs Insurance:19,743 Establishment: £5,000 Licences:£1,200 Depreciation:£.12,459 Total fixed costs: £28,402 Total annual costs £87,871 So I've got to be turning over close to 190,000 before I'm in the game. Not all these figures are rock solid; I'm reckoning on £5,000 per year for establishment rent, but could probably do better. Even so, £87,871 plus the cost of the machine is where I'm looking.

So how did! do? Again, a rider; a four-day week a rich man does not make. For reference, the ES, running a combination of light, heavy, and a bit of solo (combined with a driver whose mood oscillated between the sanguine and the snotty) returned an extremely respectable 8.13 mpg (29.01it/100km). Given that it had all of 3,500km on the clock when it arrived, I'm not going to complain.

Another reference point: these figures were achieved using both manual and auto modes in the EuroTronic see a hill and get up it is my motto.This calls into question the increasingly popular habit of disabling the manual override on AMT units. I'm also pretty certain that, if I'd managed to get the mid lift to stay off the ground while running empty. a bit more life could have been squeezed out of each fill.

And so to the revenue. In total, four days' work in the Stralis put £1,957 in the bank, working out to I.22p/km. If we work on the basis that at day rates this equals £489.25 a day. a live-day week should turn over an estimated 12,442.25.

According to the MT cost tables I need to be turning over ft ,689.82 to be in business, so I'm £752.43 to the good here, before my vehicle payment. In other words, I'm not getting rich but I'm ahead of the game.

So what does this all mean? First up, successful transport is as much about people as product.

CS Ellis has, in transport director Dave MacKenzie and transport manager Andy Reed, two schedulers in whom you can have a lot of faith. Buggering about was minimal, and while my week on the road was far from arduous, it was busy. Good people make a difference here as does a good truck.

Those 540 horses might be a bit over the odds, but 8.13mpg isn't. Bear in mind that this figure will improve as the engine has the edges worn off it. and the progress that results from so much power does make a big difference in terms of productivity. As does the ability to spend a week away in the thing and run a business two businesses,in fact, if you count my day jobfrom within its confines. As well as everything else, the Stralis is an office on wheels which offers a comfortable, unflustered working environment, coupled with somewhere not half bad to spend the night.

So rather than feeling the need to divert myself back home for a couple of nights, I left on a Monday and returned on a Friday. In the broader picture this might not be an ideal lifestyle, but if you're signed up to the transport business it's often a fact of life and in the Stralis ES it's no chore.

So yes, you can make a living with a big truck operating on subcontracted traction. Not much of a living a cheaper unit would obviously boost the margins a bitbut a living nevertheless. Is that living good enough to build a business? Judging by my brief experience, the answer is yes.

Our cost statement includes maintenance, tyres and the like, but during the week! had nc recourse to either.As such the back-up service remains untested, but it's obviously a crucial part of any buying decision.

For any truck to be earning. it needs to be working-so the ability to schedule maintenance around this imperative, as opposed to a workshop diary. is also key to keeping the numbers right.

We could go on forever introducing other elements into the equation.Transport is like that. My week on the road was a good one; yours might be better, might be worse. The ke: word here is random.

But on balance, we have to give the ES high marks. It isn't thirsty, it offers a comfortable working environment, and with a trailer attached, it earns its corn.There's nothing random about that. •