The full Paddy
Page 31

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mhen a lorry turned up at the Port of Holyhead during the recent blockade, Welsh farmers could hardly miss the legend: "100% prime Irish beef" emblazoned down its _flank. Opening the offending wagon the irate farmers discovered that there's more than one sort of beef coming out of Ireland nowadays: this truck was transporting the costumes for The Celtic Knights, Ireland's answer to the Chippendales.
With their costumes and routines inspired by Celtic mythology; these beer chaps have been taking Ireland by storm. The colleens, it seems, have been getting rather carried away. One member of the group, Tiernan, was stabbed in the buttocks by an overenthusiastic lady as she attempted to remove his G-string with a pair of scissors These youngsters should take a leaf from the Hawk's book of undergarments: I find that the reinforced gussets on my winterweight flannel combinations offer far more protection in similar drcumstances.