The Irish get the red tape taped
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ahe Hawk is continually amazed at the ability of the Irish to get maximum benefit from European Community membership while we can't seem to make up our minds whether we want to be in, out or shake-it-all-about ...
It seems that pre-single market, Irish farmers in the North could secure an EC subsidy for transporting pigs into the Republic of Ireland. Naturally, it seemed a waste of a valuable resource to transport the pigs just the once.
Enterprising operators took to transporting their pigs to the nearest customs post where they were "■......,registered, enabling the subsidy to be claimed. Once into the Republic, the pigs were smuggled back into Northern Ireland along an unmanned stretch of border allowing the profitable process to be repeated until the pigs died of old age or travel sickness.
Eventually one operator found that it was possible to dispense with the services of real pigs and still claim the subsidy. Instead, he rigged up his trailer with plenty of foul smelling litter, so that customs' officers weren't tempted to get too close, and a loudspeaker system conveying the various oinks, grunts and squeals of pigs contemplating a holiday in the South. The customs duly registered the imaginary pigs and he gratefully collected fistfuls of Ecus from Brussels—a case of not having your bacon and not having to eat it.