Twelve Inches Too Many?
Page 44

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yOU can expect at least one British manufacturer to show a .36-ft.:Iong public service vehicle on a stand at the Scottish Show, in Glasgow, this November. But I regret to say they have a slight problem. The width of the stand is 35 ft., which calls for a spot of diagonal parking!
But if they do this, what else can they get on the stand?
Savor-faire
HOW to do it: Go to the bother of erecting an attractive stand at a central position of an international fair and arranging on it a number of your most salesworthy products (as a British manufacturer did at Leipzig). How not to do it: Withdraw every manjack of your ample stand staff into a•conference caravan at a peak viewing period, and leave at least 20 prospective customers to walk about outside asking one another for information and pamphlets and finally to disappear in a huff (as the same British manufacturer did at the same fair).
No Butterflies
HOW does it feel to get on your feet and talk, for the first time, to an audience of 1,000? I asked this rather delicate question of Mr. A. E. Drain, at the R.H.A.'s Metropolitan and South Eastern area dinner last week. He was chairman for the 1958-60 period, and had remarked (I suspect with some
nit) relief) that it was nice to be able to relax this year, with no active part in the function.
"To tell you the truth," he answered me, "I was rather surprised. I was a bit worried beforehand but when I got up,
there were no butterflies at all I just spoke, and everyone seemed to like it."
I wish I knew his secret, because I find I frequently am assailed by those insects when I am about to address an audience of one—my bank manager!
Rate-cutter
THE current chairman of that area, Mr. P. H. R. Turner, told an appropriate little joke concerning a small haulage concern which lived opposite a large-sized, high-powered neighbour. One day the small firm put up a notice: "All goods, London-Birmingham, 35s. per ton." Next day the glossy neighbour offered 34s. The day after, the small firm replied with 33s.
So it went on until the rate dropped to 20s. Then the manager of the Pia concern called on his small neighbour. "Look here," he said, "this is becoming ridiculous. Nobody can live on a rate of 20s."
"I agree," replied the small haulier.
"Well, then, why don't you stop it?"
"Oh, it's all right," said the diminutive one, "1 can stand it for just as long as you care to continue, You see, I don't carry long-distance loads!"